You Can Have the Good Chair

Stealing from my colleagues is not really a habit.

In fact, the one time it happened, I wouldn't even call it "theft", per se. I would call it strategic procurement of my favorite chair. And anyway, I stole it for you.

And Andrea hasn't asked about it in 12 and a half years, so I think the laws of possession are probably in my favor.

The chair in question is a maroon recliner with a rip on the left front arm rest. It's nothing special to look at. But I swear this chair is magic.

It feels warm when you are cold. If feels cool when you are hot. You sink into it and feel suddenly inclined to put words to all the feelings and angst in your life. It's my favorite chair, not because I sit there, but because my students, colleagues, and friends all sit there.

It has a magic way of transporting you into safety and vulnerability. Occupants of the Good Chair have shared some of the most shocking and horrific tragedies of their lives. I have also witnessed miracles and celebrated victories that defy explanation.

The Good Chair is the front porch, corner booth, living room, and cafe nook where we bear witness to each other's lives. There is no digital substitute.

(And yes, I recognize the irony of writing this on a digital platform).

My life and work is bound up in the mission of the Gospel of Jesus Christ which means it is bound up in relationship. The content I feel driven to create is about the art of adult friendship, the relentlessness of loneliness, navigating and sustaining relationships with family, spouses, or significant "others." I create content about church, vulnerability, identity, community, addiction, formation, the power and poison of shame, and the embodied gospel reality of freedom and grace. This is not a substack for dating advice, life-hacks, or sentimental self-help quips.

This is the Good Chair.

Me and my friends invite you to join our conversations. Yes, we will talk about things I believe are important to you and your life. But this is not scripted, it's just friendship. It's real people tackling significant issues in light of the Gospel but with the vibes of Amy Pohler's "Good Hang."

It can get a little wild y'all. I'm just sayin'. Strap in.

We are all lonely.

A recent article in the Guardian reported findings of global research around "a sharp drop in wellbeing in the US and the UK in particular," especially in younger people. It cited rampant isolation linked back to our online habits and underdeveloped skills at sustaining healthy, in-person relationships. It used an ominous label: "the lost generation."

At the heart of this problem is not simply a lack of interpersonal skills or emotional intelligence. I believe the closer we draw to each other, the closer we draw to Christ and God's loving purposes in the world. The two journey's are indelibly connected. Our desire for discipleship and our desire for intimacy are actually one road to a single destination: the Kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven.

I want to share that journey with you. I hope this is a launch pad that orients you towards deeper, embodied relationships with others and with your Creator.

So, come on in. You are welcome here. And you can have the good chair.