Rejoicing in a minor key

I was watching a Reel from a former student who was lamenting that her kids were waaaay more excited about Halloween than Christmas. For her, like many retail conglomerates, Christmas season begins Nov 1st, as soon as the Halloween costumes are packed away. I always considered myself a holiday purist (waiting until Santa appeared at the end of Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade before busting out the Christmas playlist), but then I found Advent.

Before you assume this is just one of those rants against people who celebrate Christmas season too soon, let me assure you, I come in peace. And while the past several years have been a discipline in holding to the season of Advent, I have a soft-spot for two exceptions. One is for college students. I work in higher ed and there are a precious few days to be together on campus before everyone scatters for break. It makes sense that the campus goes full Christmas-revelry as soon as possible. The second exception is when I see that someone is really struggling through a hard year and is just trying to insert a little extra joy into their season.

Can we talk about mental health for a minute?

It has been a hard year for a lot of people I know. Many of my friends are heading into the holidays on fumes. Grief, loss, anxiety, loneliness, and over-stimulation are just a few ingredients in the cocktail of 2025. It makes sense why some Christmas lights and holiday tunes would lift the spirits. And if this is you, I would like to offer the possibility that what your mental and emotional health might really need is Advent.

Seasons are important. They are infused with hope. Seasons are a promise that where we are is not where we will always be. This is good news for when we are in rough seasons of our life. But when we hit a good season, we tend to cling. For lots of friends I know, Christmas season is an avenue of mental/emotional health. It is a hit of nostalgic, magical, escapism that is so effective that we crave the opportunity to indulge it at the earliest socially-acceptable moment. And I am not here to judge your love of Christmas, but I am certainly here as an advocate for your mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

When I first embraced the season of Advent (with the help of the indomitable Fleming Rutledge), it was restorative. Over the course of my adult years, Christmas leaked its luster more and more. I was becoming disillusioned with a season I once found magical and whole. Advent was not only a calendar reset, it saved Christmas for me. The key was that these seasons became less about retail or nostalgia and they shifted into becoming true spiritual seasons. And I knew that my heart ached for a bright and glorious Christmas. The beauty and wonder is like water for my thirsty soul.

But I was unable to embrace Christmas unless I also embraced Advent. The Advent season speaks to my soul as much as Christmas, but it invited us to recognize that we need space to sit honestly in the dark. We need stillness. We need lament. For me, this is captured in the classic Advent hymn, O Come O Come Emmanuel. The chorus is this haunting resonance: "Rejoice, rejoice ..." in a minor key. Advent is not without greenery, lights, and singing. But before we bust out the Alvin & the Chipmunks album, I need some time in the dark, with candles lit slowly every week, bringing more and more light. I need to rejoice but know that I am free to sing with my heart in my throat. I need to give my weary soul permission to exist amidst the commercials and store discounts.

Friend, this has been a hard year. I don't begrudge you the tree going up on Nov 20th. But if your mental and emotional health is part of the drive, might I recommend that Advent is the season you are really looking for. And I guarantee, it won't have an adverse affect on your Christmas. It will actually brighten it.

If you need a good moody Advent playlist, I've got a starter set for you below. We put up our tree with white lights and call it our "advent tree" until we decorate it right before Christmas. We light a candle every night and take some extra time to be still, pray, reflect, and be human. Advent and Christmas are spiritual seasons that revive and recenter us if we let them.

I want to spend this Advent with you. Every week, I will be posting a favorite poem and reflection in a series I am calling "Waiting Together." You are not alone and you don't have to pretend that those decorations have the healing properties of some kind of spiritual Xanax. Let's start in the dark and rejoice in a minor key. Christmas is coming.

ERIN'S MOODY ADVENT PLAYLIST: